Entry 6- Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder- Unless Everyone Thinks You're Fucking Ugly

I was scrolling through the Craigslist wanted ads today (I hope everyone realizes these are always posted the same exact day I write them.) and came across a post requesting resumes for people willing to work helping to feed, house, and counsel the homeless. I was about to apply because I really do want to do some kind of work like this until I noticed one of the main requirements for employment was a "personal relationship with Jesus Christ." I have never personally met Jesus, and do not have him as a reference on my resume, so there is just no way I qualify for that job.

Many other times, scrolling through similar employment classifieds, I have come across jobs requiring a four year degree to be considered for employment. However, if the job is an administrative assistant position paying ten dollars an hour, I have to wonder which of the many four year degrees specifically qualifies a person for that. Admins are very important for the operation of many companies. Really though, a person can realistically make more money waiting tables, or bartending, degree or no degree.

I was once hired at a telecommunications company here in San Diego that did directory assistance for several different cell phone carriers. Getting hired at this job was easy for me and a lot of other people that applied. Basically, you had to speak and write in English on at least a tenth grade level, type at least 30 wpm, and have the kind of temperament that allowed management and disgruntled customers to brow beat you constantly without you ever losing your temper.

You can understand that many people were hired at this company that passed the first two requirements with flying colors, but fell well below the safety line on that third important requirement. The point of mentioning this is that in the current economy we had at the time, pre-9/11, all kinds of companies were hiring with similar low level skill requirements, giving bums like me a way to salvage a meager living, and even sometimes get decent benes.

We have no exited the Information Age into the Age Of Distrust. When I walk into a coffee shop, or restaurant and attempt to apply for a job the person hiring seems suspicious of my reasons for applying. In contrast, when I send out my resume to jobs I am completely qualified for at other types of businesses besides coffee shops or restaurants, I get suspicious about why it is these employers are not calling me back, or returning my emails, even if I am simply contacting them to find out if the job is still available.

"All of your phone calls were a nice touch. But, sorry, the position has been filled."

This quote above is almost verbatim from an email I received from an employer that I could not get into an interview with. What did he mean by "nice touch?" It seems in one way paranoid to think he is being sarcastic, but on the other hand, I wasn't trying to touch him. I need a fucking job, man. No joke. Wouldn't it have been easier to reply to the first voicemail, or email and just tell me my qualifications do not match the experience they are looking for? In fact, I'm still waiting to hear back from another manager in a different department of the same company about why it is she hasn't called me for an interview. Is it suspicious that I am applying for more than one job at the same company? Really? I am the very first person to ever do that?

(Are follow up calls and emails unusual at all? That is how I have gotten most jobs in my life- Polite, but persistent follow ups.)

Now, I have decided to add Jesus Christ as my personal work reference. Really, He saved me. And a couple Christian friends of mine tell me He loves me. But if an employer goes about calling Him to find out whether or not I am going to be a good employee, they may find the conversation a bit one-sided. Also, if they already know Him, He should have put in a good word for me before I even send in my resume. Isn't that how it works?